


The Knight’s Pilot

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Kylo Ren, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apologies, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Poe Dameron, Falling In Love, First Order Poe Dameron, Flashbacks, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Kylo Ren Being a Little Shit, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Throws A Tantrum, M/M, Major Character Injury, Protective Poe Dameron, Sad Kylo Ren, Weird Fluff, mentions of Rey - Freeform, no chronological order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-07-29 04:42:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: They never expected to meet this way in this universe — TIE pilot and Knight of Ren. Somewhere along the line, things changed, and apart, they were already formidable, but together, they’re a force of nature.





	1. Refuge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MidgardianNerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: For MidgardianNerd, who was tired. First one is a post-TFA AU with Poe as part of the First Order.

When Hux brings Kylo Ren into medbay, he’s already badly injured, and General Dameron feels something that he hasn’t felt in some time; he actually feels sick. Just looking at whatever happened to his beloved Knight, a scar practically splitting open his cheek, skin coated in frost from the snow...it’s enough to make Poe feel ill. 

He doesn’t walk; he practically runs to Kylo’s side. Kylo stirs in that moment, looks up at Poe. “Poe...” he murmurs, softly. 

“It’s okay, Kylo. We’ve got you. You’re safe.” Poe sighs. “Things were pretty bad out there, what with what happened with Starkiller...”

”I can see that,” Kylo says. Apparently the cold and nearly getting his face ripped open actually has done nothing to his sense of humor. 

Hux, meanwhile, is having none of it. “I’ll be in the cockpit,” he says, too haughtily if Poe asks him. Apparently, he doesn’t want to see any of this. 

***

Poe dreads having to apply the bandage (which basically almost looks like a durasteel strip, actually) to Kylo’s face. Kylo grits his teeth against the pain, and Poe sighs. “I know it hurts, Kylo, but we’ve got to heal your wound somehow.”

”It was my fault,” Kylo says. “I was weak. Vulnerable. I thought that killing Han Solo would stop this, all of it. I was wrong...”

Poe nods. He knows Snoke wanted Kylo to kill his father. Kylo confided in him as much. “It...would have happened to anyone.”

”And the girl, on Starkiller...I was so stupid. I didn’t want to kill her, Poe. I actually offered to train her and she rejected me. Pretty violently, actually.”

”Her loss,” Poe says. “Kylo, listen to me — you’re not weak. Really. The fact you held on as long as you did is amazing. The fact you survived this is amazing. And if Snoke doesn’t see that...well, he can go kriff himself.”

Kylo’s lips twitch. “You can’t just...say that about the Supreme Leader.”

”When it comes to you, I’ll say anything. There,” Poe says, smoothing out the bandage. “I’m not much of a medic, but I can at least do what I can to help.”

Kylo looks up at him, and he doesn’t smile (it’s like the ability to smile was driven out of the man he loves long ago) but his face softens. “Thank you, Poe.”

”Anything,” Poe says. “Anything at all.”


	2. Hidden Treasures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An argument, and how it gets resolved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Because I’m upset about Wendig getting fired, and this is how I cope with it. Weird, I know.

The first time Poe sees one of Kylo Ren’s tantrums, it’s the aftermath of one. They’re still beginning their odd friendship, all things considered, and Poe’s seeing enough of the young, volatile Knight to know that he has his issues. It’s still a little shocking to see his quarters trashed and the walls slashed up, all things considered. 

“What the hell just happened?” Poe says. 

Kylo turns away from where a pretty deep gash in a wall is still practically gaping. Poe furrows his brow; they look pretty deep. 

“Did you do that?” 

“That,” Kylo says calmly, “Is none of your business.”

”I’m your friend. Of course it is.”

 Silence. 

“You can’t just destroy things every time you get angry.”

”And you can’t tell others what they can and can’t do.”

”I care about you too much just to let you destroy yourself.”

A shocked silence, this time. Kylo goes practically rigid.  

“Get out of my quarters,” Kylo says, clearly still in shock. 

It stings. It stings so much. Poe gapes at him, eyes widening, before snapping, “Fine! You’re just a spoiled child. I don’t know what I saw in you.”

He leaves. He avoids everyone else, walking in a hurry all the while. If Kylo wants to be a grumpy brat wallowing in his poor-me bantha droppings, let him. 

Except...

Somehow, as Poe gets to his private quarters, it hurts, not in an angry way, but in a dear-stars-it-hurts way. Everyone has fights with their friends. Poe knows that. Except...

Somewhere along the line, Poe knows he’s fallen for Kylo Ren. He may have his problems, to say the least, but he has an acerbic wit, he’s brave, he’s loyal. He can even have moments of gentleness when he thinks no one’s looking. He may be beautiful, but that’s just a small detail compared to the rest of what Poe’s been able to uncover. They’re both no angels, but Kylo has so many things in him he doesn’t realize exist, and Poe wants to nurture those as opposed to the evil that Snoke’s feeding by the day. The ruthlessness and cruelty that’s constantly at war with his better nature. 

 Poe knows  you can’t play the savior. But in the end, he loves Kylo too much to give up on him. And he supposes he’s known all along. 

***

Even as Poe leaves, Kylo can’t help but feel, suddenly, very rotten. He shouldn’t have shouted at him to leave, he shouldn’t have pushed him away like that. He doesn’t have much energy for another tantrum, really, so he half-heartedly kicks the foot of his bed, which only results in a sore foot and barely a let up of his own self-hate. He’s never reacted this extremely before, and...

And now he’s lashed out at Poe, and it hurts.

Kylo sits down, frustrated. Is he in love with Poe Dameron? Kylo can’t help but wonder. Then again, it’s silly. Poe may be a captivating man, but Kylo’s not in love with him. Kylo finds some comfort in his company, but that’s not the same. Kylo may find just about everything about him wonderful, but that’s not the same. He may be beautiful, witty, accomplished, caring, loving, loyal, with nary a fault to be seen, but it’s too fast to fall in love with him, and besides, Snoke would never approve. Kylo’s twenty now, Poe twenty-three, and he’s not in love. He may not want Poe to leave him, but that’s just loneliness and abandonment issues talking, not love. 

Whatever it is, Kylo would do anything to fix it. 

***

It’s later after their work for the day is done and they can see each other that Kylo takes Poe aside. 

“Commander,” he says, once they’re alone, “Poe.” He doesn’t wear the mask; he has a feeling that’s the last thing Poe wants to see, actually. “What I said to you was...uncalled for.”

”No stang.” Poe sits next to him. “What was that all about anyway?”

Kylo tells him. Tells him how it’s the first anniversary of when he slaughtered the Jedi and ultimately cut himself off from his family. Tells him about Skywalker’s casual cruelty, how he tried to kill him, how even his parents thought Ben Solo was a monster, how he’s not used to anyone seeing good in him. He talks, and he says, “I have no one but my Knights and the Supreme Leader.”

”I don’t count?” Poe looks up at him, almost like he’s worried. Worried about him — Kylo can’t think of anyone in the First Order who really has done that. 

“You too.”

”Good. I want to help you, Kylo. Just to see you happy.”

Kylo feels a tug of affection towards the older man. “You always help me.”

”Good. You don’t have to wreck your own room; you can just come to see me.”

Slowly, hesitantly (old habits are hard to break, after all), Kylo nods. “Can you...stay?”

Poe smiles. “Kylo Ren, I will stay as long as you need me. I promise.”

”Thank you."

”Anything,” Poe says, and Kylo can hope that behind that “anything” is “I love you too”. 


End file.
